Why Me?

When I decided to start this blog I intended it as a way to talk about things that interest me and also as a medium to discuss how I am coping moving to a new place.  Today I am going to discuss something very personal that I normally would not on such a public forum; however, after much contemplation I decided to bring it up.

Yesterday for the first time in 6 months I found myself wallowing in self-pity questioning why me?  Why am in China and not Dubai?  Why am I so far away from all my friends and family? What have I done to end up here?  As I sat on my bed going over these questions in my head and making myself more upset something just happened and I remembered an excerpt my Mum made me listen to many years ago when I was going through a difficult time and just generally angry with life (my Granddad had just past away and I had to have an operation, which had a very painful recovery period and resulted in me having to miss ½ a semester of school in my final year).  It was a discourse given by Swami Swaroopananda of Chinmaya Mission.

Below is a few fragments of the discourse which were the main points that changed my outlook and for the first time made me understand why I am dealing with my situation in the wrong way.  If you are interested in reading the whole discourse you can find it on http://vnsgkhitesh.blogspot.com/

“When sorrows come, most people will sit back and ask Why this to me? People sit and question Asking Why? Why? Why? For scientific discoveries Why is necessary. But to live your life, it is not the question Why but How?. This is the science of higher management…  Life brings in so many different situations. Rather than sitting and crying Why this to Me, the one question we should ask is how I can solve this problem or how I can reach the goal… Life only brings situations. Never problems. It is only when you think you are incapable of handling the situation, it becomes a problem. So always call a situation as a situation and do not call it as a problem. It is a problem only when you do not know how to handle it. Secondly, if any problem or difficulty comes, do not sit and say Why Me?. Instead ask How? Thirdly, when any sorrow comes into your life, do not blame others for it.  If you blame somebody else for your sorrow, then you cannot do anything about it. The moment you give somebody the blame of your sorrow, which means you are not responsible or you are not in charge… Understand at that moment that God is giving you something which is good for you. Joyfully take it with the attitude – it is for the best. For those who don’t believe in God, nature has given us everything. What we do with it is our give back to society, to the parents, to nature, to God… What ever you have is God’s gift to you and whatever you do with it is your gift to HIM. Whatever you get in the course of your life is the BEST for you.

 After rereading the discourse I realized how silly I was to cry and get depressed when I instead should be trying to make the most of this opportunity.  Today this may not be my ideal place in the world to live but there is a greater reason Mr. Fabulous and I have moved here.  I may not know what that is today but I am pretty sure in the future the answer will be clear.

A little exercise I sometimes do when I am feeling sad or upset is that I try to make a list of things I am grateful for and this immediately changes my mood for the better.  Now I am going to leave you with my top 10 reasons I am lucky to be in China:

  1. I am happily married and living with the love of my life who really does everything possible to make sure I am happy and comfortable here.
  2. Hong Kong and Macau are 2 hours away – since both places are so nearby we always have weekend get aways which we never did before.
  3. Spa Heaven – Seriously!  It’s the land of pampering. Acupuncture, body massages, foot reflexology with warm herbal bath, blow-drys, facials and mani-pedis for the cheapest price.  There’s this one massage place that I frequently visit to get reflexology where the therapist spends the first 30mins focusing on the point pressures on shoulders, relieving all the tensions. It’s just blissfully relaxing!
  4. I am actually living a healthier lifestyle here.  Since most things are imported they are super expensive so I decided to try and make many things fresh at home.  Everything tastes so much better when it’s fresh and you get to monitor your sodium and fat intake.
  5. It’s safe – no matter where I am and if I am alone, I always feel safe here.  No one bothers you
  6. Multitude of markets – there is so much to see here whether you want clothes, teas, hardware, electronics, textiles or much much more.  A market exists for each item.  Each time I venture out and explore a new market (by market I mean large malls) I am just so amazed how much originates from China and what quantities is produced here.
  7. The Fruit Shop – five minutes away from my apartment there is a fruit store opened 24/7.  All the freshest fruit and accessible at anytime.
  8. Walking – growing up in London I was so accustomed to walking everywhere, which I really missed when I moved to Dubai.  In China its safe and clean so I love being able to leave my house and walk everywhere.
  9. There is absolutely no reason to drink or drive.  I’ve surely been taking advantage of being able to drink and not worrying about driving home at the end of the night.
  10. If I can make it here, I know I’ll be able to make it anywhere!!

I guess we all go through times in life when we wonder why we’re in a certain situation, but I truly believe there is a reason for everything and if we just have a little faith it will eventually become clear.


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